An Eerie But Familiar Feeling

The night of the 7th day of successful eating comes to a close. I have lost nine pounds this week, but it’s not enough to stop it. I feel it coming on like a flood. That strong voice seems to come from my stomach. It has joined forces with my brain to send an overwhelming desire to eat what I shouldn’t.

I so badly want pizza right now that it scares me. My body wants it, but I don’t want to ruin my progress. What if I do not have the strength tomorrow to abstain? My brain is telling me that I should reward myself and that one day of eating what it wants won’t be bad.

It will be bad. I will fall back and lose everything again. I don’t want that, but I want pizza. I am so hungry right now. Why am I controlled by my hunger? When will I be able to control these urges? How do I get back in control? This needs to end.

I’m legitimately nervous I will fall tomorrow. My hope is that when I weigh in I will have lost a good amount of weight to make it tougher to cheat. Until then, I’m haunted by this fear of failing.

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5 thoughts on “An Eerie But Familiar Feeling”

  1. Your brain wants it more because you are denying yourself it, instead of saying you will eat what you want for a day, howabout just for a meal .. have your pizza but just dont eat 5 pizzas (exaggerating a tad) the more you deny yourself the more you will want it. Dont make yourself feel bad for having it either .. strive for being healthy in mind and body, not the thinnest you can be .. good luck

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am so afraid that if I let myself cheat that I will fall off the wagon, like I have done countless times before. My goal is to not have a “diet” mentality, but that is proving to be harder than I thought. I want to just eat good naturally and find some balance. That’s the goal. Thanks for the encouragement.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I was here last week & I caved. I ate pizza that wasn’t even very good & I ate way to much. I paid dearly. Upset tummy yes but mentally & emotionaly the beating I gave myself was the worst. Try some lemon water. It has helped me get back on track this wknd. Sending peace.

    Like

    1. I have heard people mention lemon water. I should look into that. I have such a problem when I start eating poorly, I over do it, and don’t stop. Thanks for the well wishes.

      Like

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