How long will it take to change my thinking? I want to not be tempted by food. I want to be able to say, “No.” I want to eat healthy without counting the days until I can eat everything not healthy. Why can’t I be focused on losing weight and getting healthy, instead of focused on the fact I am not eating garbage. I want garbage.
My brain just does not want to change. I want to lose weight, get healthy, and eat whatever I want. I guess that means that I want my cake and to eat it too, literally. I love cake. I can’t. If I eat what I want to, I will go off the deep end. Does this mean that I will need to abstain from these foods forever? I can’t even start to fathom that.
So, does this mean I am locked into this loop forever? Lose weight, gain it all back, and more, lose it again, before starting the loop again? That can’t be a healthy lifestyle. How do I break this pattern? Can I be cured? It does not feel possible.
I guess, until I figure it out, I’ll just keep losing weight while eating healthy and hope that when I get down to my goal weight that I’ll find a life of moderation.